I had some dreams ... they were klowns in my koffee.

(With apologies to Carly Simon)

This is my journey through job transition from a toxic environment to a better life. Join me for a few thoughts and a few laughs along the way.
What are "klowns in my koffee"? They are the factors large and small that make you less than you are. A "klown" can be a grossly incompetent boss,
a short-sighted policy or a moronic coworker. They won't kill you, at least not immediately, but they abrade the soul
as you scrape past them to get through the day. Sometimes it's best to dump them out of the cup.


Day 105 - Kasota Kronicles

Daily Kup (What I Did On My Reality Vacation)
We went to a workshop at the local Home Depot this morning on how to paint the house. They had advertised the workshop and I had registered for it. When we showed up, they really had no idea of what to do and seemingly had made few plans.

The story has a happy ending, however, due to the initiative of one employee named Michael. He gathered samples of products and explained the differences. He let us paint a piece of wood using different grades of brushes so that we could see which tools work best. We followed him from aisle to aisle as he explained the competing products and detailed the advantages and drawbacks of each. We came away with a lot of notes, a paint manufacturer's crib sheet, and a personal appreciation for a knowledgeable and kind-hearted person who changed a problem into an opportunity. All companies should be so lucky. And those companies who do (or did) have employees like that should appreciate them.

First meal at a restaurant in months. We took the kids to our favorite local cheap and not terribly authentic Chinese buffet, New King's Wok. You'll find restaurant reviews of the place posted elsewhere with the tags 'crappy' and 'stripmall,' but happiness in life seems to be about adjusting your expectations when you choose a place to eat that is located between an auto parts store and Goodwill. We were happy and full. I will not need additional sodium until 2011.

Slow Drip
This blog is committed to bringing the readership the latest in breaking scientific news of significance to the Porkus refugee community.


An archaeologist excavating the remains of a civilization located along the railroad tracks near the intersection of Kasota/Energy Parkway and Highway 280 made an astounding discovery. In the corner of an ancient office in the area known to the inhabitants as a "Business Park", researchers unearthed a receptacle labeled with the strange hieroglyphs "Diet Coke" and filled with rolls of computer paper. The papers were festooned with writing in a heretofore unknown language interspersed with primitive flowcharts and the occasional picture of a little face with glasses sticking her head in a noose. Scientists have christened the artifacts "The Dead She Scrolls" as a tribute to the unknown and evidently frustrated author.

A team of linguists has been working day and night to translate the scroll's contents into modern language. A specialist from the British Museum is now en route; upon arrival, he will examine the disintegrating documents in an attempt to decipher the text beneath the strange brown rings that cover every surface, thought to be residue from some prehistoric brewed substance that must have been a fuel source, at least before noon.

Only a few scraps have been translated at this time, giving us a fragmentary insight into the culture that spawned them.

Psalm 67
Management wants change.
Shall we improve the product?
Make the website blue!

Psalm 666
Inhuman resource.
Pointy heels stab the carpet.
Someone get a net.

Based on other ancient manuscripts, such as the so-called "Yellow Pages," scientists believe that the original inhabitants were the Porkans, an elusive, cult-based society who practiced cannibalism. Soil samples and carbon dating suggest that the area was occupied until one day in August when the tribe suddenly abandoned the site. Why did the inhabitants abruptly flee? One theory holds that they were overrun by a race of cabinet-builders with superior capital investment. The research team hopes that translation of the rest of the documents will fill in the blanks, helping us understand the lost Porkan civilization and the lessons that it can teach us today to avoid their timely fate.


Further developments are expected on this story. When the news hits, you'll read it here first!

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