I had some dreams ... they were klowns in my koffee.

(With apologies to Carly Simon)

This is my journey through job transition from a toxic environment to a better life. Join me for a few thoughts and a few laughs along the way.
What are "klowns in my koffee"? They are the factors large and small that make you less than you are. A "klown" can be a grossly incompetent boss,
a short-sighted policy or a moronic coworker. They won't kill you, at least not immediately, but they abrade the soul
as you scrape past them to get through the day. Sometimes it's best to dump them out of the cup.


Day 270 - Manger Wrangling

Daily Kup (My Life as a Gainfully Unemployed Person)
I have a creche with a bonus. It has the requisite number of kings (i.e., three), one shepherd, no little drummer boys, but two Holy Families. I would have liked a cow or another sheep beyond the one that's draped over the shepherd. A burro would have been nice.

But, instead, I have a double dip of Joseph, Mary and the baby.

They aren't identical and I vacillate over which Family to display. One family is a little heftier in a Campbell Kids sort of way but not so big that they look like a threat to the Kings. The thinner couple seem a bit gaunt and eye the sheep a bit closely.

Choices, choices.
Meet Holy Family A. Mary is an unlikely blonde and seems to be doing the Macarena. Joseph is clutching his chest and looks like he has heartburn. That's really a lantern in his left hand but he's holding it like a bottle of Scotch. Maybe that's how he got the burning sensation in his chest.

The baby has red hair and blue eyes. Well, He doesn't have blue pupils, He has black pupils and the sclera that should be white is painted blue.

Maybe this set was destined for Arrakis, the planet known as Dune. Thank you, Frank Herbert.

And then there's Holy Family B. They've definitely got that ta-Dah thing going. This Mary, like the other one, has managed to get her figure back in a matter of hours. I can imagine Jillian yelling at her to do more crunches.

Joseph looks a little too fey to me. Perhaps it's because his eyebrows are way too high, giving him the look of a drag queen on a day off.

The baby is nice in this set in that He doesn't have science fiction eyes.

In fact, He has a taunt physique for such a young child with little six pack abs and everything. Again, Jillian. Bob would have given Him the night off for making good choices.

Since Mary and Joseph are basically supporting actors, let's examine the leading man in more detail. Here are the babies side by side.

Skinny baby is so cool that He's about to give a thumb's up. It's like He's telling a joke to which the punchline is, "This guy!"

Hefty baby already has a halo, which must be a timesaver.

Please help me decide. Should I choose Holy Family A (The Dune Family) or Holy Family B (Performing on Glee with Fonzie)?


Kim Barron said...

Hmm, have you thought about picking out a new set?
Otherwise, I think I would have to go with Mary & Joseph A but Jesus B.

Craig A. Mullenbach said...

Either way a fantasy is a fantasy. I don't think Jewish looking baby Jesus would sell well in this country... ;-)

Burning Khrome said...

I like the concept of the mix-and-match set.

My three kings are also all white, which plays nicely into Mully's comment. I've been tempted to color them in but am not sure that I wouldn't arrive at something that looks like Al Jolson singing "Mammy." Of couse, Jolson was Jewish so there's a nice bit of synchronicity there.

My late grandmother had a large (like 20" x 24") framed picture of Jesus in her living room. He had light eyes and sun-dappled hair as through he'd gone to a salon for a full set of foils. My grandmother loved the picture and I loved my grandmother, so I never mentioned the incongruity.

Now the most common representational picture of Jesus seen in questionable living room art shows him darker and with broader features. He's a dead ringer for my junior high art teacher, Mr. Wormwood. Since the 'portraits' are never signed, I've wondered over the years if Mr. Wormwood painted a self-portrait and sold it to a religious symbol distributor.

Kim Barron said...

Perhaps, instead of thinking it as blackface, call it camo face paint? You know, just in case they were going to go deer hunting later.

Of course, this is from the person that might have 4-5 ornaments in a box in the basement somewhere. (They were gifts from people) So I may not take decorating as seriously as some.

Burning Khrome said...

I'm somewhat surprised that you haven't made some hand-dyed ornaments to expand your product line!

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