Klowns in my Koffee

Daily Kup (My Life as a Gainfully Unemployed Person)
This new year seems as cold and snowy as the old one.

Small children and fraying tempers. Will Monday ever come? Note to self: Home schooling is never, EVER a possibility.

Bad New Year's Resolutions
Start smoking to see if quitting is as hard as everyone says.
Dedicate every waking moment to Justin Bieber.
Schedule all my business lunches at Chuck E. Cheese.
Invest heavily in newspapers and airlines.
Start a cult.
Begin each day at work by ridiculing my boss on Facebook.
Start my own television network (if I'm not Oprah).
Design a Snuggie for my house plants.
Send for that Russian bride who's always emailing me.
Retire from being a quarterback. Or maybe not.

Last Drop
I've learned many things from my very wise and wonderful mother-in-law. During our recent visit, I mentioned that my family treats the occasion of my taking a nice, warm bath as an invitation to knock on the door, wander in, ask for advice or simply come by to chat. I do not wish to chat in those circumstances. I also don't wish to talk to phone solicitors or mediate fights over whose turn it is to play on the Xbox. She said to me, "Doesn't your bathroom door have a lock? If it doesn't, it should."

Resolved: Lock the bathroom door more often and let them wait until I'm good and ready to let them in.