I had some dreams ... they were klowns in my koffee.

(With apologies to Carly Simon)

This is my journey through job transition from a toxic environment to a better life. Join me for a few thoughts and a few laughs along the way.
What are "klowns in my koffee"? They are the factors large and small that make you less than you are. A "klown" can be a grossly incompetent boss,
a short-sighted policy or a moronic coworker. They won't kill you, at least not immediately, but they abrade the soul
as you scrape past them to get through the day. Sometimes it's best to dump them out of the cup.


Day 340 - New Cars and Old Stars

Daily Kup (My Life as a Wacky Racer)
Another item off the Bucket List: Build a Pinewood Derby car with son. Mr. T, good with computers but problematic with hand tools, has performed this task for the past two years. The cars are beautiful to look at and each won a trophy for design, but the wheels turn slowly and shoot off into the ether. T starts worrying about the project in September, starts building in January, and then consumes every moment of spare time from then until the Derby in early March in working on the car, avoiding working on the car, and buying new parts for the ones that got broken or lost in the process.

So, it was not completely out of altruism that I decided to volunteer this year. After all, how hard can it be and how long can it take?

[Buzzer sounds] The answers are: 1) Harder than you'd think and 2) Right up to the weigh-in no matter when you start.

Here's our entry for Saturday's race, number 37: "This car was a beach."

What's New in KoffeeTech: "Apple Gets Cocky about the iPad 2"
You have to wait through the commercial, but it's worth it.

We Can Rebuild Him
Have you seen the TV commercial for the Lee Majors Rechargeable Bionic Hearing Aid? Yes, the Bionic Man actor is the front man for a line of auditory support electronics pitched loudly on late night television. Bionic? Do they go da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-DA-DA?

I mean he played a guy with bionic powers, he didn't actually have them himself. (Extreme quibblers will note that it was the Bionic Woman who had the enhanced hearing.) What if other TV stars of yesteryear start believing that they have the capabilities of their famous characters?
Can these products be far behind --

Bill Cosby for the Cliff Huxtable Home Gynecology Kit
Comes complete with stirrups, a brightly-colored sweater, and a case of Jell-O. As a special added bonus, conquer those concerns about malpractice with the Claire Huxtable Home Legal Kit for only three additional payments of $19.99.

Fly like Wonder Woman in the Lynda Carter Invisible Airplane
Remember where you put the invisible keys! Call in the next 25 minutes to get a Golden Lariat for only the cost of shipping and handling. Operators are standing by.

The Henry Winkler Juke Box Training Program
Let the Fonz himself show you the secrets of how to punch a juke box in just the right place to save a quarter. Includes a video explaining to anyone under 40 what a juke box is. Juke Box not included.

Bill Bixby's Incredible Employment Service
Like to travel? This is the only employment agency that will help you find a new, menial job every week. You'll meet lots of terrific people and help them out of trouble. Includes sad music to walk away to. Don't get mad, get employed today!

Charlie Sheen's Brand Marketing
Attend a seminar with the son of American's favorite faux president where you'll learn how to take your own bad habits, transform them into a brand identity, get a job pretending to be you, and then get fired for playing you too well outside your job. Is it life? Is it performance art? Don't know where the actor stops and the character starts? Hello! Winning!

Koffee Break Site of the Day
The Daily.wav http://www.dailywav.com/index.php
Asks the question, "Have you annoyed your cubemates today?" If not, here's your chance.

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