I had some dreams ... they were klowns in my koffee.

(With apologies to Carly Simon)

This is my journey through job transition from a toxic environment to a better life. Join me for a few thoughts and a few laughs along the way.
What are "klowns in my koffee"? They are the factors large and small that make you less than you are. A "klown" can be a grossly incompetent boss,
a short-sighted policy or a moronic coworker. They won't kill you, at least not immediately, but they abrade the soul
as you scrape past them to get through the day. Sometimes it's best to dump them out of the cup.


Day 290 - The Adventures of Quality Girl

Daily Kup (My Life guarding the buffet)
One way to avoid re-taking the Quality professional certification tests that I took earlier in the year is to get additional training, take more tests, write a book, or attend a rubber chicken dinner. The latter seemed like a good bet.

"I'll take rubber chicken dinner for 0.6 recertification units, Alex."

For the unemployed and those with other dinner plans, there is a zero dollar meeting attendance option that fits the needs of those who wish to sit in the middle while everyone around them eats.

The table for the 'non-eaters' was directly in front of the buffet so that all the other attendees had to walk around us to get to the food. There was a time when that would have made me feel awkward but giving birth in a teaching hospital and two years working in a call center pretty much knocked out whatever embarrassment was residual.

The 'non-eaters' were mostly non-talkers as well, so dinner time went slowly. The sole exception was a long-haired Buddhist who bragged and name-dropped while occasionally slapping the side of his head to loosen water that he said he got into his ear because he wasn't used to washing long hair. And, again, I don't make this stuff up.

Quality people are an eccentric lot. They generally dress poorly. Many of them wear glasses. They mumble and avoid eye contact.

I felt at home.

During the lull amid the clacking of knives and forks, head slapping, and the other non-eaters playing with their phones, I had time to draw this cartoon.


Corsair, The Mostly Harmless said...

I have just learned that due to my recent and LONG overdue promotion, I must now attend "Quality Academy."

One more anti-productivity nail in the ol' career coffin..

Burning Khrome said...

Sadly, it's not quite like Starfleet Academy.

Remember not to reprogram the Kobayashi Maru simulation.

And you are correct -- never give people the idea that you are concerned about the quality of the product or service or think that there might be other than a completely seat-of-the-pants way to analyze, measure or manage it. That's slow and painful career death.

Post a Comment