I had some dreams ... they were klowns in my koffee.

(With apologies to Carly Simon)

This is my journey through job transition from a toxic environment to a better life. Join me for a few thoughts and a few laughs along the way.
What are "klowns in my koffee"? They are the factors large and small that make you less than you are. A "klown" can be a grossly incompetent boss,
a short-sighted policy or a moronic coworker. They won't kill you, at least not immediately, but they abrade the soul
as you scrape past them to get through the day. Sometimes it's best to dump them out of the cup.


Day 23 - Missing Commandments

Several days ago, I was staying up late and Mel Brook's "History of the World, Part 1" came on. I've always loved the scene where Moses comes down from the mountain with the tablets containing the commandments. In Mel's version, Moses is given three tablets rather than the traditional two. He starts to announce the "Fifteen Commandments," drops one tablet that smashes into many pieces, then quickly backpedals to say, "Ten ... Ten Commandments."

It begs the question, "What should the missing commandments be?"

Here are some suggestions:
  • Thou shalt not cut ahead in line.
  • Balding men shalt not wind their hair over their scalps.
  • Thou shalt not have the Dukes of Hazzard theme for thy ringtone.
  • Thou shalt not call at dinner time about long distance or cable service.
  • Honor thy in-laws but don't let them drop in without calling.
  • Loud children shalt not be taken to any dinner that costs more that $30 per person.
  • Co-workers shalt not hum all day lest they be stoned.
  • Thou shalt wipe up anything left on the seat.
  • Campaigning shalt not start more than one year before the Primary.
  • Thou shalt recycle.
  • There shalt be no Spiderman movies without Tobey Maguire.
  • Rock bands shalt stop touring when they are too old to drive the bus at night.
  • Thine mileage may vary.

1 comment:

Corsair, The Mostly Harmless said...

So shall it be written.

Heck Yeah!

(in leiu of Amen)

Now, since NOTHING on the Internet is ever lost, you will be, 3,000 years from now, the Prophet of your own religion. Sadly, there will be a huge and bloody schism over wether it should have been read as "miles" or "kilometers."

Millions will perish during the Metric Jihad..

So sad.

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