I had some dreams ... they were klowns in my koffee.

(With apologies to Carly Simon)

This is my journey through job transition from a toxic environment to a better life. Join me for a few thoughts and a few laughs along the way.
What are "klowns in my koffee"? They are the factors large and small that make you less than you are. A "klown" can be a grossly incompetent boss,
a short-sighted policy or a moronic coworker. They won't kill you, at least not immediately, but they abrade the soul
as you scrape past them to get through the day. Sometimes it's best to dump them out of the cup.


Day 194 - Optimistic Prime

Daily Kup (My Colorful Life Breathing Solvents)
The garage door was the latest victim of the mighty roller. I have a five gallon drum of Zinsser Bullseye oil-based primer and the will to use it. The kids were very disturbed to get off the bus and find that the dark green garage door wasn't ... green.

Taking advantage of the illusion of creativity that comes from accidentally breathing petroleum distillates, I created a flyer to be given out at school to attract more potential Daisies to my fledgling troop. My co-leader found a fantastic and free meeting location, so this new troop adventure is coming together.

Getting the flyer ready for distribution involved an 11:30 PM trip to Kinko's. A late night trip to Kinko's is like a visit to the Star Wars cantina. The customers are usually zombified by whatever project has necessitated copying it in the middle of the night. The other group of clientele must be copying copywritten material -- despite the label pasted on each copy machine! -- because they hunch over the machines and shift their glance from side to side; the copies are flipped blank side up and then stuffed into a bag as soon as possible. Wouldn't it be fun to get a clipboard and slowly walk around the culprits in an ever tightening circle while scribbling notes and staring at them?

The late night employees are even scarier. This evening, the sole employee was a heavy set Asian man with shoulder length hair held back with a shiny headband. He was playing some Martian Gypsy music and punctuating the stanzas with a series of loud and rhythmic burps.

Kinko's at night is the anti-Walmart. At Walmart, you can't escape being greeted, even if you avert your eyes and walk quickly while wrapping your coat tightly around your head. At Kinko's, you can copy a whole book without an employee moving closer than the back wall. You could attempt to staple yourself to death and the guy would not remove one iPod earpiece. When you actually want to attract the employee to the one service counter that doesn't have a sign saying, "Please visit another register, " you have to wave and hit the bell. Since the music he was playing sounded quite a lot like someone waving while hitting a bell, I can understand why this would draw limited notice.

Why Couldn't He Make Himself Into Something Useful Like an Espresso Machine?
The transformer Optimus Prime has a wider following than I had imagined. Though I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I mean, he's really flexible and he's got the primary color thing down.

While Warren Buffet doesn't have to worry about his day job, here are ten Optimus Prime Quotes Useful in the Workplace: http://transformersrollout.wordpress.com/2010/09/18/10-optimus-prime-quotes-useful-in-the-workplace/

As Optimus would say, “Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing.”

You know, as I was in the Kinko's parking lot getting ready to leave, I glanced back through the huge windows at the rows and rows of copy machines and, just for a second, I thought I saw an arm come out of one of them and wave. Nah, couldn't be. Could it?

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