I had some dreams ... they were klowns in my koffee.

(With apologies to Carly Simon)

This is my journey through job transition from a toxic environment to a better life. Join me for a few thoughts and a few laughs along the way.
What are "klowns in my koffee"? They are the factors large and small that make you less than you are. A "klown" can be a grossly incompetent boss,
a short-sighted policy or a moronic coworker. They won't kill you, at least not immediately, but they abrade the soul
as you scrape past them to get through the day. Sometimes it's best to dump them out of the cup.


Day 203 - What's Your Fortune, Cookie?

Daily Kup (The Personal Diary of my Midlife Crisis)
The first Daisy meeting went very well. We have seven girls in our troop and three to four more that will be there for the next meeting. We had posters and info packets and snacks. It really seemed to be coming together. Fake it 'til you make it.

The continuing beautiful weather allowed me to finish painting the siding on the front of the house. Tomorrow, we'll work on the doors and accents like the house numbers. Once everything is back in the garage, the house will be gorgeous. Until you look at the sides.

I can live with a facade. Again, fake it 'til you make it.

Researching the Fortune Cookie Game
Have you ever heard the assertion that the fortunes in fortune cookies work as well -- or better -- when the phrase "in bed" is added? At Klowns in my Koffee, we are dedicated to rational thinking and the scientific method. Like a cheap, miniature version of Myth Busters, our crack research team decided to take on the challenge.

A package of fortune cookies was selected completely at random from a local grocery store. The content were consumed by a semi-typical suburban family for the good of science. All fortunes were diligently recorded, including the one that was partially eaten by an eager child. Duplicates were eliminated. A distinguished panel then used nominal group techniques to conclude whether or not the "in bed" addition produced a logical result.

One observation outside the scope of the analysis is that people who write fortunes don't know how to punctuate. The examples below are copied directly.

You find beauty in ordinary things, do not lose this ability.
Real change comes from within.
Your business will assume vast proportions.
To understand, listen beneath the words.
Be careful of what your wish for. You may get it.
You will be successful in your work.
You will succeed in anything you put your mind to.
Habitual patterns of thought determine success or failure.
Love is in your future.

Character is a victory, not a gift.

Doesn't work
Thrift is a wonderful virtue; particularly in ancestors.

In summary, 81.8% of fortunes from the sample population successfully met the "in bed" rule while 18.2% did not meet the rule conclusively.

Next research steps: The sample was not sufficiently large to characterize the population. As a follow-up, sufficient samples need to be taken from the products of different manufacturers including those who cater solely to the restaurant trade before a statistically significant conclusion can be formulated. Suggest that additional samples accompany mongolian beef, potstickers and a nice plum wine. In bed.

Extra cup
No less an authority than Food Network has weighed in on fortune cookies. Check out Food Networks list of the Top 10 Worst Fortune Cookies Ever: http://foodnetworkhumor.com/2009/09/the-top-10-worst-fortune-cookies-ever/

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