Klowns in my Koffee

Daily Kup (My Life on the Treadmill)

The Christmas Spirit was late in coming this year. But, belatedly, it arrived with a thud like a fat guy down a chimney. I'm a sucker for "A Charlie Brown Christmas."




Slim Chance
My husband has been dieting and going to the gym every day. He's dropped about 25 pounds and has been taunting me to join him in his quest for improved health and smaller pants.

He may be right. Take this simple test to determine if you, too, need to consider a little physical improvement:

• * Waiters smirk when you order a Diet Coke.
• * When you tie your shoelaces, your bows are not centered on the front of the shoe.
• * You are concerned that someone will question the weight on your drivers license.
• * You swivel the showerhead from the center position in order to avoid showering only your right shoulder.
• * You wouldn't consider getting a tattoo -- not for aesthetic or health reasons -- but because you can't predict what skin inflation or deflation would do to the picture.
• * You've given up shaving parts that you can't see very well.
• * If you were a cat, your whiskers would touch both sides of the door frame at once.
• * You are concerned that small Asian children want to rub your belly for luck.
• * You want your weight to be less than your IQ and getting smarter seems to be the easier route.
• * You go to the doctors' and are disappointed when she's so slim.
• * Santa looks frightened when you want to pose sitting on his lap.